I would like to "axe" you a question…

It’s probably going to reach somewhere near 90-92 degrees here in the Atlanta area today, and I’ve spent the last three weeks splitting firewood for our coming winter where we’ll be lucky to get more than 20 days of temps in the lower 30s or upper 20s.

But beyond just some need to get out and do something manly for a change (as opposed to watching the kids or sitting in a chair at work on the computer all day), there is something very cathartic about mindless physical exertion, and it is this which has drawn me time and again to one of the two stacks of wood in my backyard these past few weeks.

To be sure there is a satisfaction one can gain from parenting or from one’s chosen profession, but in my experience, few things are as satisfying as rounding a day off soaked in sweat (perspiration for my female audience) and having something as solid as a stack of split wood to show for your efforts; even if half of it will probably go to waste since it doesn’t get that cold here anyway.

Also, for me, I get some of my best contemplating in when I’m doing something singular like cutting firewood or mowing the lawn. It is during these times that I’m most introspective, because let’s face it, you don’t really need your brain when you’re working in the yard. I wonder if Einstein came up with some of his most pervasive postulates while working? Perhaps Da Vinci was planing off a new worktable when he came with the idea for the parachute. Who knows.

But, I finished one stack and based on how things are going at work, I luckily have a whole ‘nother stack to go. Skip the gym, cut some wood, keep my sanity. Not a bad deal all in all.

Blue / Pink / Indifferent?

It’s amazing how quickly one can accept a situation and begin making plans for it, even if that situation goes against everything you’ve been planning up till that point in life.

My wife got up this morning and announced that she was terribly nauseous. Now, we’ve been pretty careful with the “relations” since our last son was born, but there might have been a time or two that our teenage years crept up on us and we excused off the hassle and just went with the moment.

With a “Do you think the drugstore is open yet?” she was out the door on a mission to get a pregnancy test. When she came home, she went straight upstairs and faster than I thought the test could return results, she comes back downstairs and says, “We’re not pregnant.”

Now, I know a lot of people think babies are Gods little gift and so on and so forth, but gift or no, I am not prepared for another baby. I was feeling pretty confident she might be pregnant though based both on today’s little episode and a week or two of her feeling a tad on the puny side. In my head, even as I was lamenting, “Oh my LORD what’re we gonna do?” I was also planning out how long it would take me to finish off a couple of rooms in my basement so we could still have a guest room if we had to turn our current upstairs guest room into a nursery.

Thank goodness no such plans will be necessary.

Apparently, she only has a tummy bug as she has slept literally all day and thus far neither myself nor the boys have any symptoms (which is suspect considering everyone I know who’s had this, has also passed it to their entire household in a matter of hours). I’ve been careful to keep the boys generally away from her all day so if we’re lucky, it’ll stop with her. Of course, with the exception of my recent fishing trip, I just don’t throw up. Stomach bugs don’t affect me for some reason, so I’m not a good gauge of a bug’s possibilities.

At any rate, today’s over and now I can relax for a bit before my week begins.
And I can guaran-darn-tee that the next time the moment feels right, I’ll be puttin’ on my hat.

Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?

Need I say more?

There’s a certain liberation that comes from knowing that since your company cares so little about you, you therefore, should not feel required to return any amount of loyalty to it.

And that, my friends, is how my day has gone.

I had my meeting and was told that my idea held no appeal and that therefore, I pretty much had no choice in the matter and “Welcome to the team.” At which point I said, “What do you expect me to say? I’m not happy with this.”

“Carmine said one boy, here are two.” (The Freshman).

I felt like I should at least be honest with them after they had me bend over and take what amounts to a demotion.

The great thing about not giving a flip, is the fact that you feel empowered to say things that other people don’t expect to hear (like that) and in return, you often get little gems like this one that my new boss said, “Well, if you do decide to look outside the company for a new job, I’d really appreciate it if you told me so I can prepare.”

I’m not kidding people, these words actually came out of her mouth. And yes, she’s a Sr. Manager. Wow! Either she completely thinks I trust her (for what reason she might have earned this honor I can’t begin to imagine) or else she just really is an idiot. Could go both ways really.

And if anyone out there even thinks about saying in the comments anything even closely resembling any of the following:
- Hold tight! God has a plan
OR
- At least you have a job

I will hunt you down and disfigure you like Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon. (that’s not quite grammatically correct, but you get the point).

When you’re stuck with (another) day, that’s gray, and looonelly…

Since yesterday’s blog, I learned a few things. Apparently, my boss, unbeknownst to me, has been in discussions with the Marketing Communications (Marcom) group to move me over there as a “writer.” Now, coincidentally, I was simultaneously developing a business case for basically the same thing, except (and this is a big “except”) under the auspices of being a “Team Lead”.

Why a “Team Lead” you ask and not a Manager? Well, the company I work for (it’s big, it’s blue, and its people are known to be heartless robots), has interesting definitions of what makes a “Manager” per-se. You have to have a certain number of people directly reporting to you in order for you to be considered a Manager. And even if I did move over to the Marcom group at the level I want, there aren’t the proper number of people to report to me to satisfy the requirement. So, at best, I can get a “Team Lead” position which basically means the same thing, but doesn’t come with the requisite pay raise. Oh well.

Anyway, I found out my bosses’ plans in a meeting with him yesterday and feeling that it was especially lucky that I did find out ahead of time (since everyone talks about me, but not to me) I also took the opportunity to tell him that if I didn’t get a “Team Lead” position there, I would not be staying with the company.

Gutsy move I might regret later, but here’s why:

1. This is the second consecutive job that I have been promised a Team Lead position in and this is the second one that has renegged on their word
2. If I move over as a “Writer” I will be in effect, putting my career back 3-4 years, since I have held the following titles in the last 4 years: Sr. Technical Writer and Marketing Manager. To go back to “Writer” would be career stupidity

The interesting thing is, that even people here at work that I talk to regularly seem to know more about my bosses’ career plans for me than even I do. I find the whole charade fascinating and revolting at the same time.

The funny thing is, in my meeting yesterday my boss said, “Well first, you should never tell your boss you quit unless you’re willing to follow through with it.”

You know what I did, I chuckled, and then I said, “I wasn’t kidding. You’re my fourth boss in six months. That’s six months that I’ve been scratching and clawing my way by myself, with absolutely no support behind me whatsoever and I’m done fighting. There are other companies out there who would welcome me and give me the support I need to get my job done.”

There wasn’t much he could say after that. So, I have a meeting mid-morning today to discuss my “move” and I suspect I’ll have a pretty good feeling after that meeting as to my future at my current company. Interestingly, while I don’t relish the idea of moving yet again, I really don’t care. I honestly don’t care whether I stay or go. I suspect that’s what has emboldened me to make the demands I’ve made.

When you’ve got nothing to lose, why not?