Deep Cleansing Breaths…

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About every 4-6 months, things build up in my life that require a release. Releases were easy when I was younger…wild partying, drinking–or the opposite–unhealthy levels of exercise (yes, this is possible). These days, it’s much more difficult to release tension. As it’s now 11:23 p.m. and I’m still awake rather than nestled down in bed getting some much needed sleep, I’m obviously having trouble just letting go.

So, let’s recap for all our new viewers. Recently, I’ve:

1. Moved
2. Had a baby (you know what I mean)
3. Started a new job that quite frankly is turning into more of a nightmare scenario as time goes on.

You know, when I made the decision to be a professional writer, I thought my days of stress were over, but boy was I wrong. My new company is in flux, and I’ve become a resource pawn. I should be flattered, because after all, if my boss didn’t value my services so much, he wouldn’t be fighting to keep me where I am. But, what appears to be happening instead, is I’m being told to do one thing, while being expected to do another, and unfortunately, the two don’t appear to be able to co-exist. My choices then seem limited. I can either go with the flow and as it stands now, become a glorified project manager (a position I previously turned down), or I can say, “Thanks, I appreciate the help, but it’s just not gonna work out.”

Being the sucker I am, I’ll probably stick it out and see what happens, but in the meantime, I’m having difficulties coping. There are times that I suspect I would benefit from pharmacology and this is one of those times.

Oh also, my aunt died today. Were we close? Not terribly, but I do have fond memories of her wonderful peanut butter fudge and I’m saddened for my dad, the youngest of 5 siblings (and he’s 72). I suspect that in the next decade we’ll be losing one every few years and that’s bumming me out too. Thus, I can’t sleep. Oh and I’m having a random nosebleed. Criminy!

Anyone have any suggestions?

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