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I got an e-mail the other day from my Debit card issuer (read: my bank) with an update on how many points I’ve accumulated towards junk. I couldn’t believe that I’ve charged more than 30K worth of stuff on it. Wow! So, I started thumbing through the ‘catalog o’ worthless crap’ for super-cool merchandise I could use my points on.

My first thought was to just use the thing for several years and then cash in for a Lamborghini right about when I hit my mid-life crisis (that would be next month), but then I saw the small print stating that accrued points must be used within 18 months of acquiring them. Which means that I wouldn’t suddenly lose them all, but if I didn’t start using them, they’d slowly start disappearing.

Which brought up an interesting thought: How do they do that? I mean, if I charge $80 today at the local massage parlor and earn 80 points, do those 80 points just disappear in 18 months and one day if I don’t use them? And then, what if used my points to purchase something. Do they deduct the points from those that I earned first, or do they take points that I earned six months ago? Do they even know for sure? It boggles the mind. All I know for sure is that the whole program was created by people who get paid to come up with mind-boggling stuff for which my mind is simply not prepared. So I’ll just move along and do what the nice man says.

By now, I know that the suspense is killing you. “What DID he spend his points on?”

Oh, for my $30K in charges, I was able to get 3—yes, count ‘em 3—Circuit City gift cards worth $25 each. Wooowweeee! We’re rolling in the currency now!

Then, you stop and realize that for $30K worth of charges, I get $75 back. Dang! Oh well, maybe I’ll upgrade my Sirius Satellite Radio receiver in my truck. Oh but I do love my satellite radio!


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