Quite out of the blue, my wife recently said to me, “You should start doing a “guy vacation” to go play golf or something every year. A lot of guys at work do it and they have a lot of fun.”
While interesting, I’m not quite sure how to take this. I have several thoughts on it though:
- My wife, realizing that I’ve been quite on edge since the baby was born, is truly concerned about my snapping at an inoportune moment (such as at the beach in two weeks when one of the other in-laws says something annoying to me) and desires that I get away and do something selfish for a while
- My wife really wants to go have a “girls vacation” and is using this as justification at a later date
So let’s think about these two things. Option 1, is very plausible. My wife has become astute at reading my moods over our near 8-year marriage; probably because when it gets to be “my time of the month” I just clam up, stop talking and start cleaning. Been doing that a lot lately. But as any concientious father will tell you, this whole “go do your thing” idea is fraught with guilty perils. Were I to go on said trip, I would constantly worry about how my wife is getting along with the boys. And then when I returned, I would constantly be trying to “pay her back” by allowing her to go do all sorts of things on her own. Which I wouldn’t mind doing, except that I neglect things around the house enough as it is. If I’m suddenly watching the kids all the time…the house, and yard will go downhill fast.
Then there’s Option 2…the idea that she really wants to go do her own thing. There are couples I know who do everything together, and there are couples I know who do nothing together. I feel bad for both. Too much of a good thing…well, isn’t a good thing. On the flip-side, if you don’t spend some time together away from the rigors of daily life, what kind of relationship are you building…and believe you me, marriage is never a done deal…you must always be working at it.
At 34, I’d like to think that I’m above naked jealousy, but the fact is that I’m not. When guys go out, they go out with a purpose: I’m going to play golf, or I’m going to have a beer, whatever. But you ask a group of women what they are going to do, “We don’t know. We just want to get out and have fun.” When a guy hears this, he hears, “We don’t know…all we know is that we’re bored with staying home with our man and we want to go out and do something different.”
Trust me when I say that “doing something different” conjures up all sorts of wild and crazy ideas in a husband/boyfriend’s mind…and not in a good “wild and crazy” way that involves kinky going’s on when she comes home.
So, I’m not sure I’m kosher with this “guy vacation” idea, as much as I long to get away. Not to mention, it’s financially unfeasible. I mean, we barely have the money to get away as a couple, so I’m not sure how I’d justify dropping $500-$600 on a guy vacation.
Even at 34, we still play games. Good? Bad? Who knows…alls I know is that I had better find a good, cheap replacement housekeeper before I rub a hole in the carpet trying to get out out my frustrations at nobody and nothing in particular!