Life is Confusing Enough!

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Klinger T aking a break from all the familial blogging, I’m going to go off the reservation for a bit here and be controversial. Now, I served in the military, and I know all about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” One of the guys I was serving with at the Pentagon, rubbed my butt during a “Hootie and the Blowfish” concert at a small venue in Georgetown before the group made it big. Heck, even my best beer-drinking friend growing up, whom I spent several very alone, drunk evenings with as a teen (mind you, we were only alone because we got beer at like 17 years old and we didn’t want to get caught), turned out to be gay. I’ve been leered at, called after and generally visually harassed by gay men in the past, so suffice it to say, I’ve been exposed to “that world” and I’m pretty OK to let it be.

But there are limits to my tolerance.

Such as, the wildly flamboyant Hispanic cleaning guy at the gym, who, to his credit, seems to do his work very well and with a minimum of loitering around the dressing room. But still, when I’m shucking off my work clothes and trying to get one naked leg (and buttock) at a time in my running shorts, where I inevitably get hung up on the mesh elastic and end up hopping around on one leg until I break through, I admit that I get a little panicky at the thought that maybe he’s looking.

There is also the (also Hispanic) cleaning guy at my office. He is a thin little guy with wet-looking, kinky-curly hair and a very soft speaking voice. Whenever I say “Hi” to him in the halls, he averts his eyes to the ground in a very subserviant way and says in a soft, lilting voice, “Hello.”

Whatever…to each his own.

Until…until today when I went to use the restroom and he was in there cleaning and I noticed that he has developed breasts. YES…BREASTS! (or “Moobs” as my friend over at Pantsfreesia called them)

This is where I have to draw the line. Now, true enough that these guys still have “guy junk,” and therefore, it’s probably no big deal, but still! This is like me walking into the ladies restroom and washing my hands for 15 minutes. Sure, I’ve seen women things, but that doesn’t mean I still wouldn’t look if given the chance!

I’m considering legislation. I mean, if Senator Kennedy can present a resolution, “…congratulating the New England Patriots on their victory in Super Bowl XXXIX” then I should be able introduce a bill to “Bar pre-op transsexuals from their genders’ public bathroooms.”

Am I outta line here?


5 thoughts on “Life is Confusing Enough!

    romi41 said:
    June 12, 2008 at 1:04 am

    The last thing i need is pre-op trannies with nice racks in my women’s bathroom so I can feel insecure about my boob-size…hence…keep ’em in your men’s room please!!!


    RE: His Moobs aren’t even near the “nice rack” territory yet (not that I looked THAT hard mind you). I think you’re ok for a while. Course…none of us REALLY have a good point of reference for you…
    (oh my! Did I say that out loud?)

    Allison said:
    June 12, 2008 at 6:37 am

    Hmmm….I’m trying to think of an equivalent situation for myself to see if that would make me uncomfortable…a very masculine woman in the women’s locker room– I don’t think so. An actual men working in the women’s locker room– uncomfortable only if he’s heterosexual probably. Does that seem right?

    So I guess the deal is if I think there is someone working in the locker room who would be looking at me with any special interest. I’m going to guess that if I worked in a men’s locker room, I might be interested in certain subjects, but I would be careful to do nothing more than glance because to do otherwise would get me fired….except that men in a locker room probably wouldn’t mind being looked at by a woman…that is, if those men are attracted to women.

    This gets so very complicated.

    RE: It is complicated. So let’s see, if you’d be comfy with a homosexual man in the women’s locker room, then maybe I’d be OK with a lesbian in mine? Let me see….um….NO!
    I look at it this way, if anyone in the bathroom, locker room etc., would ever, in a million years, consider having sex with me, and it’s not my wife or another woman (hence, a man), then I’m not comfortable with it. The Moobs just add another level of creepiness.
    Maybe he needs a “Bro”. (extra points if you get the reference)

    rose said:
    June 12, 2008 at 9:13 am

    There should be a unisex bathroom for all those who are comfortable in that situation. Then nobody could call discrimination. Both men and women of all sorts can opt in or out.
    I would opt out…..

    Allison said:
    June 12, 2008 at 9:48 am

    Ah, I hate missing out on extra credit points.

    Leighton aka MyBestInvest said:
    June 12, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    Seinfeld reference. I like it.

    I say abandon the locker room altogether. Pee one last time before you leave the house and shower when you get home.

    RE: Excellent. That Seinfeld episode is probably one of the most memorable for me…that and “Festivus.” Oh man…good times!

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