T aking a break from all the familial blogging, I’m going to go off the reservation for a bit here and be controversial. Now, I served in the military, and I know all about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” One of the guys I was serving with at the Pentagon, rubbed my butt during a “Hootie and the Blowfish” concert at a small venue in Georgetown before the group made it big. Heck, even my best beer-drinking friend growing up, whom I spent several very alone, drunk evenings with as a teen (mind you, we were only alone because we got beer at like 17 years old and we didn’t want to get caught), turned out to be gay. I’ve been leered at, called after and generally visually harassed by gay men in the past, so suffice it to say, I’ve been exposed to “that world” and I’m pretty OK to let it be.
But there are limits to my tolerance.
Such as, the wildly flamboyant Hispanic cleaning guy at the gym, who, to his credit, seems to do his work very well and with a minimum of loitering around the dressing room. But still, when I’m shucking off my work clothes and trying to get one naked leg (and buttock) at a time in my running shorts, where I inevitably get hung up on the mesh elastic and end up hopping around on one leg until I break through, I admit that I get a little panicky at the thought that maybe he’s looking.
There is also the (also Hispanic) cleaning guy at my office. He is a thin little guy with wet-looking, kinky-curly hair and a very soft speaking voice. Whenever I say “Hi” to him in the halls, he averts his eyes to the ground in a very subserviant way and says in a soft, lilting voice, “Hello.”
Whatever…to each his own.
Until…until today when I went to use the restroom and he was in there cleaning and I noticed that he has developed breasts. YES…BREASTS! (or “Moobs” as my friend over at Pantsfreesia called them)
This is where I have to draw the line. Now, true enough that these guys still have “guy junk,” and therefore, it’s probably no big deal, but still! This is like me walking into the ladies restroom and washing my hands for 15 minutes. Sure, I’ve seen women things, but that doesn’t mean I still wouldn’t look if given the chance!
I’m considering legislation. I mean, if Senator Kennedy can present a resolution, “…congratulating the New England Patriots on their victory in Super Bowl XXXIX” then I should be able introduce a bill to “Bar pre-op transsexuals from their genders’ public bathroooms.”
Am I outta line here?