In case you missed it, the Miss Universe pageant was held last night in Vietnam. Now, before anyone says anything, I was busily printing up resumes and suchly for a pending job interview and therefore, CareerMom was in the rare position of being in control of the remote and SHE turned on the pageant. And right in time for the swimsuit competition too. So see, not my fault!
Unfortunately, I didn’t stick around for the evening gown competition, because frankly, when I think about hot, tanned women, I rarely think about them garbed in yards of glittery cloth. It’s too bad really, because if I had, I’d have seen Miss USA (at 26 years old and practically the martriarch of the pageant) trip on her evening gown!!
This makes two years in a row folks, that USA has proven that we infidels apparently do not know how to raise our women-folk right (i.e., teaching them how to walk properly and which fork to use for salad and which to use for the entree’). I mean, even Miss Cosovo had a good showing. COSOVO!
So once again, we place in the Top Ten, but fail to bring home the crown. But in addition to this little event, here are some other notations I made along the way:
- In the Top Ten, there wasn’t a single blond
- Using this picture as a sample, when did “Beauty” turn into “Sultry Minx” as is evident by the pouty-lipped poses these ladies gave for their profile pics?
- Jerry Spring co-hosted this event. Jerry Springer? I mean, I get that it’s in Vietnam–not exactly the tourist Mecca of the world–but you’d think that a number of more savory men would have been willing to stand around and ogle beautiful women and that Jerry Spring would NOT be the #1 choice. Nobody asked me!
- Isn’t it bad form not to put the hosting country’s contestant through to the Top Ten at least? Miss Vietnam was shut out…and early!
- The bathing suit colors were either orange, neon green, or bright yellow. I’m sorry, is this the early 90s?
- Feathered back hair is apparently still popular in many non-North American countries.
Anyway, those are the take-away messages I got from the show…or at least the 15 minutes of it I watched anyway. I know, I know, it’s easy to criticize from the comfort of my bed, with a glass of wine in my hand and a heating pad warming my bum, but hey, I have spent a significant portion of my life around beautiful people in health clubs, so I feel more than qualified to rein judgement down upon others.
Oh, and here’s a sticky note to all the pageant coaches out there: No floor-length evening gowns for Miss USA. EVAR!