Miss Universe Recap…from a man’s perspective

Posted on Updated on

In case you missed it, the Miss Universe pageant was held last night in Vietnam. Now, before anyone says anything, I was busily printing up resumes and suchly for a pending job interview and therefore, CareerMom was in the rare position of being in control of the remote and SHE turned on the pageant. And right in time for the swimsuit competition too. So see, not my fault!

Unfortunately, I didn’t stick around for the evening gown competition, because frankly, when I think about hot, tanned women, I rarely think about them garbed in yards of glittery cloth. It’s too bad really, because if I had, I’d have seen Miss USA (at 26 years old and practically the martriarch of the pageant) trip on her evening gown!!

This makes two years in a row folks, that USA has proven that we infidels apparently do not know how to raise our women-folk right (i.e., teaching them how to walk properly and which fork to use for salad and which to use for the entree’). I mean, even Miss Cosovo had a good showing. COSOVO!

So once again, we place in the Top Ten, but fail to bring home the crown. But in addition to this little event, here are some other notations I made along the way:

  • In the Top Ten, there wasn’t a single blond

Miss Universe top 10

  • Using this picture as a sample, when did “Beauty” turn into “Sultry Minx” as is evident by the pouty-lipped poses these ladies gave for their profile pics?
  • Jerry Spring co-hosted this event. Jerry Springer? I mean, I get that it’s in Vietnam–not exactly the tourist Mecca of the world–but you’d think that a number of more savory men would have been willing to stand around and ogle beautiful women and that Jerry Spring would NOT be the #1 choice. Nobody asked me!
  • Isn’t it bad form not to put the hosting country’s contestant through to the Top Ten at least? Miss Vietnam was shut out…and early!
  • The bathing suit colors were either orange, neon green, or bright yellow. I’m sorry, is this the early 90s?
  • Feathered back hair is apparently still popular in many non-North American countries.

Anyway, those are the take-away messages I got from the show…or at least the 15 minutes of it I watched anyway. I know, I know, it’s easy to criticize from the comfort of my bed, with a glass of wine in my hand and a heating pad warming my bum, but hey, I have spent a significant portion of my life around beautiful people in health clubs, so I feel more than qualified to rein judgement down upon others.

Oh, and here’s a sticky note to all the pageant coaches out there: No floor-length evening gowns for Miss USA. EVAR!


5 thoughts on “Miss Universe Recap…from a man’s perspective

    Allison said:
    July 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    Hmmmm, I must have missed that one. It looks like the same woman in each of the top 10 pics…just with differing flower colors. I agree about Jerry Springer. Wasn’t David Hasselhoff available?

    Good luck with your job interview.

    RE: No lie, I couldn’t figure out why a construction company needed a PR & Communications Manager immediately to quell bad publicity. The company name they gave me brought up almost nothing on an Internet search, but I finally found the holding company’s name! HA Ha Ha! In addition to having a string of poorly run “companies” in the last decade, the CIO has been brought up on felony charges AND I found two “Rip Off” Reports from people they’d previously flown to Atlanta for jobs, and then subsequently never reimbursed for their expenses, and also never called them back.

    So, I bailed! I’m so glad I found all that out before I wasted my time!

    cindybin said:
    July 14, 2008 at 5:21 pm

    Well, what upset me reading your blog is that you were drinking WINE!!! I rant about alcohol all the time–you should read my website! Alcohol is a toxic chemical that affects every hormone in your body and poisons cells. It has been linked to cancer, birth defects, heart, brain and liver damage. It SIGNIFICANTLY raises the risk of breast cancer in women. Even if alcohol were healthy, just the fact that it s a mind-altering drug makes it wrong! You wouldn’t smoke pot, would you? Heavens no, because “drugs are bad”. But all these booze drinkers are no better than pot-smokers, except they aren’t breaking the law. They are after the SAME psychoactive effect as a person lighting up a joint. And please don’t say Jesus drank wine. I am so sick of hearing that excuse! Nobody is drinking wine or any other booze to be more like Jesus. They are drinking it for the psychoactive effect. Tell me, why do you drink wine? Don’t you think a grown adult should be past the age where they want to use a mind-altering drug? Just because alcohol is legal doesn’t make it right. Adults need to set an EXAMPLE! I always say, “We can hardly chastise our youth for underage drinking, when grown adults make alcohol look so fun, glamorous, romantic, sophisticated and acceptable.” A grown adult should know better and not drink!

    Anyway, I started to read your blog because I happened to catch part of the swimsuit competition last night, because my husband, who does NOT drink, had it on. I closed my eyes for most of it because I did not want to get mad and upset, seeing these women wiggle their hips so suggestively as they walk, and walking in HIGH HEELS in a swimsuit! It is just so sexist.

    So I’m reading your blog and see the part about the wine, and that set me off, got me upset way more than thinking about the women in swimsuits. Does your wife drink, too? I would NEVER drink alcohol! Please click on my blog, which has a link to my main homepage where I have written a bunch of entries about why alcohol is unhealthy and unwholesome.

    RE: I approved this comment just so I could make fun of it. So Cindy, I’m thrilled that you found my blog and decided to post, but do us all a favor and keep the morality to a minimum. Despite whatever counter-indications you may found on a Google research about Wine, I could also find just as many “recent” studies indicating that red wine is actually good for you.

    Despite all of that, I don’t shoot heroine. I don’t smoke marijuana. I don’t snort coke. I don’t beat my children. I don’t beat my dogs. I don’t leave my children at home alone so that I can go partying late into the night. I don’t lock my children up in the house at any time during the day for my own personal pleasure. I don’t let them eat Cheetos all day, even though, Lord knows, they would if they could. I don’t exploit my children on national television so that I can raise money for brutal regimes in Darfur. I don’t make public statements about Barack Obama and how I, quite frankly, think he’s the worst candidate for president this country has seen since Mondale. And by the way, Jesus did drink wine. In fact, he made sure they had GOOD wine at parties (John 2:1-11).

    Given all of that, I’m going to enjoy my wine despite what a few religious zealots think. Because let’s rememember what religious zealots, taking religion to the extreme got us: 9:11, The Crusades, The Crucifixion of our Lord. Shall I go on?

    But, thanks for dropping by!

    Leighton said:
    July 15, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    I’m offended also, but for a different reason. In bed, drinking wine, with a heating pad on your back?

    Were the rest of the Golden Girls there with you?

    Actually, I’m surprised we avoided watching that show at our house. There must have been some other more-compelling-to-us reality contest on at the same time.

    RE: Don’t forget…doing all of this, by 9 p.m.
    “…and if you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew….you would see, the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say, THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND…”

    Patrick said:
    July 16, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Cindy is truly a brainwashed sheep. FYI, it’s 2008. GO BACK TO THE 50’s.

    RE: We’re all perfectly free to hold, and speak our opinions. I served four years in the Air Force for people like Cindy to have that right, regardless of my personal feelings about the truth of which she speaks. That said, this is MY blog and I’ll allow–or dissallow–comments as I see fit, along with a dollup of my own personal opinion.

    smith said:
    July 17, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    vietnam’s tourism industry has been booming for years (along with its economy) which is why it was chosen to host the event in the first place and Jerry Springer hosts the NBC show “America’s got talent” that is on right before Miss Universe is broadcast on the same network which is why he was chosen
    The USA still has the most wins and overall most success in this contest since it began decades ago, especially since its been owned by donald trump since the 90’s I think

    RE: I figured it was something similar to the Olympics, whereas whichever locale could offer the board members (AKA: Donald Trump) the most perks…wins!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s