I know…what a perv!
But hey, CareerMom is pregnant. Need I say more?
Seriously though, we’ve been married coming up on ten years now. Ten years! In “sex years” that’s almost a lifetime. When the average sexual act lasts less than 3 minutes, ten years is a long time to be practicing one’s art. Why, as a single guy, in ten years I could have…well, let’s not discuss what I could have done. Suffice it to say that when you’re married, ten years is a long time to have to keep things interesting in the sack. While clearly we’re not hurting too badly in the relations department (see above note about our being pregnant again), I would say that even a blind man–given enough darts–can find the dartboard.
But do you remember when you were first dating? Man, it was H.O.T. wasn’t it? When the two of you got together, not even something on television as morbidly fascinating as Hell’s Kitchen could put out the fire between you. You tried new things. You did things to each other that you wouldn’t blog about, much less tell your mom that you did. It was hot, it was fun, and it was ALL THE TIME.
And now…Oh, the sex is good, but it’s not great. You can’t just go at it on the couch, lest the kids catch you. Hot baths together? Fuh-git-aboutit! And heaven forbid you want to try something kinky, “What tha…?”
How does this happen? I mean, my um…urges are certainly just as healthy as they ever were and CareerMom’s not even supposed to have hit her peak yet. What breaks down over the course of a relationship that makes everything change?
I’ve given this a lot of thought folks and I think I have come up with a couple of ideas. And like any good writer (I’m not saying I’m a good writer, I’m just saying that “like a good writer.” It is a simile), I’m going to drag this out over a few posts to see if I can drum up some new audience members. Not that you all aren’t great, but hey, my stats could be better. Thus far, only one casino has asked me to throw up a banner ad and frankly, I’m miffed.
So, come back tomorrow, or the next day, and check it out. I promise that if nothing else, it will be entertaining and I guarantee that you will leave here with one of two thoughts.
A. This guy is a genius. What insight. It’s like he’s reading my mind!
B. What a bunch of tripe. This guy doesn’t understand men OR women for that matter. I’ll never get back that two minutes of my life…
Either way, you’ll have stopped by, and my stats will reflect it, and I will feel better about myself as a writer and as a person.
(I’m kidding. I’m not nearly that shallow)
See you soon!