The reason I haven’t posted in a while…

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image What IS normal? These days, what defines what’s normal and what isn’t? Thirty years ago, if you’d found out your best friend was seeing a therapist and was on some mood-enhancing narcotic, you’d probably have thought THAT was abnormal; but nowadays…if fifty million people can pop a pill and still function, then who am I to stick a label on them?

I often think about the way I interact with others and how others look at me. I’m very aware that, “That Guy” never knows he’s “That Guy” and it makes me a tad paranoid that I might be “That Guy” and not know it.

Maybe I’m “That Guy”:

  • At the gym who is obviously working out using weight that he’s clearly unable to handle properly AND who looks like a total imbecile trying to keep up with the young guys.

Or, maybe I’m “That Guy”:

  • Who thinks everyone else is the one that’s stupid, when in fact it’s ME that can’t see the forest for the trees.

Or just maybe it’s me instead who:

  • Is wrong about everything, such as the way this country is headed; how many people think they can write, but really can’t; how little my contributions actually matter in the grand scheme of things, and whether or not Elvis really is dead!

I worry too. I’m a born pessimist as well. Generally speaking, I’m pretty sure that at any moment, God is gonna lay one huge gi-normous Job (that’s “Joe-ba”) down on my life and my little house of cards is going to come crumbling down around me, leaving me in ruin.

It’s a pretty crap-tastic way to live, but so far it’s worked for me…I guess. I put on a happy face though and do what I’m supposed to do. I make nice with people I work with. I drive tolerably slow on the road and don’t give anyone the finger (even when they so clearly deserve it). And I do my best to be a good Samaritan as long as it doesn’t overly-inconvenience me (Hey! Even the “Good Samaritan” didn’t really go out of his way to help…he was, after all, passing right by the guy!).

But I’ve noticed something in my life. I’ve noticed that people like me, who try to be nice to others–they eventually snap. And when they do, it’s so shocking to everyone around them that it burns this image of that person in everyone’s brain and all they can see afterwards is that one incident. And that one incident can ruin a person.

Conversely, I’ve noticed that generally unpleasant people, you know…the ones who are just snots to everyone but their little clique, seem to get away with it. In fact, they seem to get rewarded for it. As if their unpleasant attitude is somehow able to accomplish more than someone who tries the old “more flies with honey than vinegar” method. By the way, if you’re one of these people and you think you’re just great because others seem to want to help you, the reason for this is simple: it’s because people would rather just do whatever you asked, than actually have to work with you, or argue with you over it. Yeah, sorry to spoil your fun.

I think this is wrong. Ass-hats shouldn’t be rewarded for being that way. People shouldn’t simply give them a pass by saying, “Oh, it’s just his (or her) personality.”

The older I get, the more I wonder if I’ve been going at this life thing the wrong way by actually TRYING to get along with people. Perhaps instead, I should be that mean old curmudgeon that gets what he wants.

There are soooo many people, even people with whom I pretend to get along with every day, who I’d like to just grab by the collar, pull them up close (maybe shake them a little) and say, “Who the hell do you think YOU are saying that about other people? Look in the mirror pin-head! You have no right to be throwing stones!

By the way, when I do actually get that mad, I curse pretty well for someone who doesn’t curse that often.

It just seems these days, that mean people get all the publicity and people like myself, (again, assuming I’m not really “That Guy”) who really are the glue that hold society together, just get stomped on a little more each day. I’m tired of getting stomped on and I wanna stomp back.

I’m just not sure how.

5 thoughts on “The reason I haven’t posted in a while…

    David "Father of five" said:
    June 16, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Yeah…. I’m the same way… I’m called a doormat, and a butt kisser all the time… but it’s not about making my life better – it’s usually about making the life of everyone better… I’m the compromiser… I’m the “devil’s advocate” when someone goes off on another person – providing a bit of “reasonable doubt” (“Hey… Maybe something is going on at home that made him so grumpy today… You and I have those days – why can’t he/she?”)

    But, I HAVE been know to give the finger to deserving drivers while in the car… but not until “the start it”… In other words – if I am driving, and someone cuts me off… I just slow down.. Let them burn their gas, wreck their car, wear out their tires, etc…

    But, if I am in the right lane, and driving the speed limit – and you honk at me for it… Then the game is on… Not only will I give them the finger… I give them the… um… I dont even know what to call it… the Wet V? Did you see Kingpin? The scene where the landlord does this same “gesture” to Woody…

    Caution – not for young children…

    Yup, it’s both vulgar and juvenile – but if you should see the reactions!!

      dobeman said:
      June 17, 2009 at 7:04 am

      RE: LOL! I’m having a hard time seeing the FOF, losing his patience over much of anything. But now…being a FOF, do you often feel as if people look at you and think, “This dude must be just about the MOST patient man in the world to have raised five kids?” I would imagine though, that like preachers, you’re still just an everyday guy who loses his patience…well, like in traffic. Hmmm. Food for thought.
      HEY EVERYONE! FOF ISN’T PERFECT! THERE’S HOPE FOR THE REST OF US! (you too Eric–you big FACEBOOK pimp! (love ya brotha!))

    Surfer Jay said:
    June 17, 2009 at 3:06 am

    I know, I know…grab your rifle shave your head and scale the nearest clocktower. Then start stomping.

    Perhaps your right, people do get away with being snobby bastards. But not to worry, God will punish the heathens in the end and send them to hell.

    But really, you make some very perceptive observations. And I agree. Yep. You very well could be that guy. But I won’t tell anyone.

      dobeman said:
      June 17, 2009 at 7:00 am

      RE: Oh no, I’m pretty sure that often, I AM “That Guy.” I’m also still pretty darned sure I’m just smarter than everyone else too 🙂 In all seriousness, I really should break out the shooter games again. That MIGHT help!

    pamajama said:
    June 26, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    I love the whole “that guy” thing. It made me want to come up with my own list:) The whole issue of never being able to see yourself the way others do fascinates me — and yet I’m so glad I can’t. It would be unbearable. Your pessimistic view on the world perhaps is what draws me to your writing, it feels familiar. I think either you’re born with that or it develops in childhood when things go wrong before we’re ready to handle them. As for behaving inappropriately . . . I’ve got that part down, even to the point of putting myself in a few dangerous situations that were so, so stupid.

    A big part of feeling better about the a*holes is doing things to acknowledge your own refusal to be one. Pat yourself on the back a little more often and be proud of yourself. You could have chosen so many different paths and instead you’re you.

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