April 20, 2008: This is gonna be tough. Don’t expect it to be finished anytime soon.
April 21, 2008: Turns out it’s not so difficult when you’re a borderline narcissist!
Writer’s Note: Author reserves the right to withhold the whole truth if “said truth” will compromise his masculinity, his family, or his ego in any way, shape or form.
50. I secretly like “Fergie Ferg’s” music.
49. I’m worse than many women I know when it comes to diet and my weight. If I could be bulemic without the lack of calories adversely affecting my weight-training program, I would.
48. I feel bad about the way I/we/my dad treated our pets growing up. Those poor animals…
47. I’ll always wonder what it would be like to raise a daughter.
46. I enjoy my chosen career field, but I’ve never found a company I really like.
45. If I won $1 million (or roughly $650K after taxes), I’d probably put most of it in some sort of savings.
44. I honestly think the Democratic philosophy for fixing healthcare et al, is terribly flawed.
43. I’m not really sure what I believe in spiritually.
42. And on that note…I believe that if being a “sinner” actually exists, I’m waaaay up there!
41. I believe we are partly responsible for Global Warming, but I think the Solar Cycle is more likely the biggest culprit. The cosmos could swipe us off this planet in a heartbeat if it wanted to.
40. When I was younger, and far less experienced as a writer, I seriously plagiarized a training manual. In my defense, it never even occurred to me that such freeform copying was plagiarization, I hadn’t gone to college yet and I had no mentor teaching me how to write. Since then, I am fanatical about sourcing my material appropriately.
39. My stubborness/temper has hampered my career.
38. I’m not sure since I’ve never done it, but I think I would have made a good hit-man, except for the fact that they frequently spend weeks out in the bush all dirty and stuff. I think I lack some sort of “love for my fellow-man” gene. Until I get to know a person, I have no feelings either way.
37. That said, I’m stubbornly loyal to my friends.
36. I’m a hugger with my kids.
35. My eyes are terribly sensitive to light. WIthout sunglasses, I’m a total waste outdoors.
34. I’m a pretty darn good cook.
33. I’m a terrible baker.
32. I’m adopted.
31. In a weird twist of irony, I’m not very close to my natural brother, whom I was adopted with, but I’m pretty close to my two half-sisters, whom I only discovered about 10 years ago.
30. I don’t much care for my dad’s girlfriend (dude! He’s like 73!). I told him I didn’t want her at the hospital for MLE’s birth, and largely because of that, he’s only seen his 2nd grandson once in a year.
29. I LOVE video games, but I usually get to a point in them where I can’t beat the bad guy, and I give up. I’ve NEVER completely finished a video game on any setting other than “Novice.”
28. I wish I could play the piano.
27. I have a pretty good singing voice (don’t we all?). If I’d had training, I think I could have been more than decent.
26. That said, I think Josh Groban’s voice is pretty darn near perfect. And I say that in a totally heterosexual way.
25. I don’t like working for women.
24. After 9 years of marriage, CareerMom has no problem using the restroom with me around. Me…I still like my man-room and my privacy.
23. The best thing I ever did, was break it off with my ex-fiance’.
22. I don’t get addicted to things per-se, but I can easily get “used to” a feeling. Sounds like a cop-out for addiction right? But the thing is, I can cold-turkey anything (and have), even prescription drugs that have taken down some very famous people; and I took them for months.
21. Speaking of which, I woke up in the middle of a back surgery. My anesthesiologist later explained that I metabolize most drugs very quickly. They didn’t make the same mistake the second time.
FYI – Some people don’t respond positively to synthetic pain medications (like me). For them, the best thing is good old morphine. This is according to an anesthesiologist who kept trying to numb me for surgery, to no avail.
20. I first became a Republican because Alex P. Keaton, on Family Ties, was one. Today, I’m more of a Libertarian, but I’ll keep voting Republican until the Libertarians get a viable candidate.
19. I love carbs!
18. Even though I’m a guy, and I love violence, I just don’t get hockey.
17. I had such a thing for Cindy Crawford in the early 90s. Her DVD, “Shape Your Body” in 1991 got me through a lot of cold winter days in Virginia when it was too cold to go running and I was working graveyard shift.
16. If I had it to do all over again, I’d go to college first, then maybe the military, instead of the other way around.
15. Boot camp DID NOT make me a better man.
14. I’m much better with finances than my wife, who has a degree in business and finance.
13. I’m an aggressive driver.
12. I worked in the Pentagon and held a Top Secret / SCI clearance. It was, thus far, the high point of my career.
11. I like playing golf, but I’ll admit that it’s kinda boring to watch on TV.’
10. When I played baseball in high school, I was the best outfielder they’d had in years. But I couldn’t hit the ball during a game to save my life. During practice though, I was a beast. Stupid psychological tricks!
9. I love fly-fishing, but I’m not very good at it.
8. I’ve discovered that mom was usually right.
7. When I was in middle school, I’d come home in the afternoon and be by myself for about an hour and a half until my dad got home each day. Once (maybe twice), I forgot my key, and I tried to kick the door open instead. When my dad saw it, he assumed someone had tried to break into the house. I kept my mouth shut.
6. Also, my parents would go out of town for about a week twice each year (THAT was the “Family” vacation) leaving me at home since school was usually in session. They’d usually come home a day or two early, no doubt in an attempt at catching me doing things I shouldn’t. They should have given me more credit. I cleared the house out by Wednesday! “I don’t care where you go, but you can’t stay here…”
5. When I worked at Wal-Mart in High School, my friend worked in the food/candy department. He’d “accidentally” drop boxes of M&Ms and stuff all the time. Who needed lunch?
4. I’m a Taurus, but I don’t believe in that stuff.
3. My dad once told me that he believed in Aliens. That was possibly the strangest thing he could have ever said to me.
2. I don’t much like country music, but like a lot of people, the song, “I hope you dance” sums up what I’d go back and tell myself about 20 years ago if I could.
1. I am SOOO bad at remembering people’s names.
Ta da! Just think…you’ll never get this time back.